Jordan Rivers - The Natural Grouch Face

The Best Friend You Never Wanted 

"Hey, those were MY toys!"

"But that was MY room!"

"It was all MINE!"

If you have siblings, these phrases probably sound really familiar to you. Maybe you were the one saying them, or maybe you are like me and they were being said to you. Prior to my arrival, my sister was an only child. She woke up each day feeling like a superstar- all the attention on her, everything bought specifically for her, and never having to share anything. This all changed once I came into the picture. From the day I was born, everything that was once my sister's became mine. My parents gave me all of her toys because "she didn't need them anymore". They made her move her room to the attic, where she would remain for the foreseeable future because "they needed to be close to the baby." I can imagine it was hard to love someone who takes all your belongings and space. As with most older siblings, it takes them some time to realize what they lost is worth more than what they have gained- a best friend for life. 

 

Photos from my sister's senior pictures (pt1)

Photos from my sister's senior pictures (pt2)

Throughout my childhood, my relationship with my older sister, Taylor, was much like a dog chasing a cat - I adored her and she could not stand to be near me. We have an age gap of almost 7 years, which made it difficult to find common interests and agree on most things. My parents did not help ease the situation, as they forced my sister to take me everywhere she went. Their belief was if I was with her, she would not get into any trouble. My sister hated the arrangement, because of course what 16 year old wants to take their little sister out with their friends. For me, I felt sophisticated. Hanging out with people nearly twice my age definitely gave me a mature mindset early on. 

Despite my tagging along for every event like a pesky fly that you can't get rid of, Taylor never let me coming stop her from what she wanted to do. I learned that for my sister to enjoy my presence more, I had to go along with whatever her plans were, and of course never tattle to my parents when things went awry. There were a few occasions though, I wish I would've just stayed home. I think back to when my sister had her first boyfriend. She had made plans to go hang out with him at a bike path near our house. When my parents heard this news, they thought this would be the PERFECT time for my sister to take me out on my new bike!

"Do you really need to bring that? I'm not helping you carry it." My sister said with a serious tone. 

I ignored her suggestion to leave the bike and happily struggled carrying it on my own. We began the hike to the path and it wasn't long until we ran into her boyfriend. As soon as he appeared, all of her attention was focused on him. The path we climbed was uphill, making carrying my bike even more difficult than it already was. While my sister was focused on locking lips with her lover, I was focused on getting up this hill with my bike and avoiding falling. I was working my way up the hill when I lost my footing and began sliding.

"HELP!" I shouted up to my sister and her boyfriend as they sat on the top of the hill.

"Just leave the bike and get up here" Taylor responded with frustration.

Refusing to leave my beloved bike behind, I continued to struggle my way up the hill with it. Next thing I knew both myself and my bike were sliding down the mountain, headed straight towards a cluster of sticker bushes. By the time my sister and her boyfriend had made their way down the hill, my bike and myself were being held captive by the razor sharp thorns of the bush. My sister and her boyfriend had to carefully pull me out in an effort to avoid me getting cut. I was covered in small red dots all over my face and body from the thorns of the bushes. My sister already knew my parents would blame her for the incident and I felt bad for coming in the first place. In the end, the red dots faded and I decided I would no longer go on hikes with my sister. 

Getting ready for a concert

Colorful hair vibes

Random bathroom selfie

Despite stories like these that may give the idea that my sister is irresponsible, that could not be farther from the truth. I have never met a more responsible and selfless human being than my sister. Both my sister and I were forced to grow up sooner than most due to the loss of our father. My dad became sick my sister's senior year of high school. My sister's career plans after graduation was to go into the marines. She had been doing physical training for months, meeting with recruiters, and was set to ship out to basic training just 3 weeks after she graduated. Her plans all changed when my Dad became sick. His illness progressed very quickly; he was diagnosed late April and by late May he couldn't even leave the hospital to go to my sister's graduation. My father passed on June 2nd, 2013; the day before my moms birthday and just 2 weeks before my sister was set to ship out to basic training.

His passing changed all of our lives of course, but I do think my sister made the most sacrifices following his loss. She decided she would not leave her family so soon after his passing and ultimately never went into the military. Months after his passing, my sister moved to Colorado where our older brother lived in order to work on her life and do some growing.While she was there, I was being passed around to different family members following my dad's passing, trying to hold on to any sense of stability during a very chaotic time in my life. Hearing this news, my sister did what she felt had to be done and moved home after a little over a year in Colorado.

It was a huge surprise, she didn't tell anyone she was coming home. I remember getting a phone call from one of her friends saying they had some of her stuff she left at their house and they needed me to hold onto it for her. I was so grumpy and did not want to take this stuff from her friend because it was just another reminder that I didn't have my sister here with me anymore. I went out to the car and opened the door, expecting some kind of box or bag with my sister's belongings. As soon as I opened the door, out popped my sister with wide open arms and my eyes immediately swelled with tears. I was so relieved to have her home.  

March 5, 2015: My sister came home from CO

From that point on, my sister never left my side. She came home for the sole purpose of stepping in to care for me when no one else would. When I was 14 and my sister was 21, she was granted guardianship of me and has been raising me on her own since. My sister has always been like a mom to me so the idea of her raising me has never felt that strange. I have watched my sister struggle through many of hardships and I am so grateful to say I have watched her build her life all while helping me figure out mine.

Supporting my sister in the Winter Carnival pageant 2019

 

 

I watched her study hard in cosmetology school, excelling at making people look and feel their best- showing me you will find your passion. I watched her do it a second time as well when she went back for her teacher's license-showing me you can always improve what you're good at. I have watched her fall in love and get engaged to her high school sweetheart, only to get her heart broken and then come out even stronger-showing me that it is possible to build a new life when the one you were building falls apart. I have watched her navigate adulthood, teaching me about loans for college, how to change your oil, and what a mortgage even is-showing me that nobody really know what they're doing, we're all just figuring it out along the way.

The lessons my sister has taught me will stay with me forever and the sacrifices she made for me is something I will never forget. I will never be able to truly express in words just how grateful I am that we are sisters. Sure, I may not not know what its like to be an only child and the luxuries that come with that, but I don't think I ever want to. Without my sister, I wouldn't have my protector, my role model, and my best friend for life.

💜My sister...

...My best friend💜