Maddie's Significant Person Draft
Sister Like Mother
Having only one significant person in my life is kind of an understatement for me, but my second oldest sister (I have 5 sisters) Jessica definitely is one that I cherish the most. She is a loving, caring, understanding, just overall an amazing person that I can call a sister.
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| The resemblance of my sister and I |
Jessica is a teacher for my school that I grew up at. She teaches 5th grade and boy was school fun. Jess always found a way to be checking in on me and seeing how my grades are and if I needed help in anything. Once I hit 5th grade I would visit her classroom all the time. Her classroom was always so neat and clean. The rows of desks that she'd fix and keep in a strict straight line day-in and day-out. She would even have these tin buckets with Hershey kisses in it that I could eat if I did good on a test, even though they were for her students. Every time I would visit her at the end of the day she would always ask if I had any type of homework from that day.
It always isn't the best though to have your sister as a coach because in her eyes there was no special treatment. It was a lot harder for me because she expected so much from me and I wanted to make her proud every moment of everyday and I still continue to do so. At practice I wouldn't really get praised as much as the other kids if I was doing good, but after practice when she would take me home, she would tell me what I need to fix and how well of a job I'm doing. She would see how tired I would be after practice from working hard and she would tell me everything will come together and I will get the results I'm looking for. Jessica always said, "hard work will always pay off, and you, your hard work is paying off".
"Do you have any homework to start?" Jess said as she walked up to her desk that I was sitting at.
"No of course not" I said,
because I never wanted to do it right away, but she knew I was lying and I would just pull it out and have her help me. As we worked on my homework she would always be yelling at kids who are still dismissing to their busses or waiting for their parents to pick them because they thought since she didn't looking at them for a second, they could do whatever they wanted. That's not the case for Jess though, she pays attention to everything and anything. She was a spectacular teacher, and is the perfect person for it.
Not only was she apart of my schooling, she was also my swim coach since I was a little kid. Jess really excelled in this department because she used to swim also. She was a pretty good swimmer, she taught me EVERYTHING I know and much more. New technique developed from the time she swam to todays day and age, but nobody put it past her to know how to actually do things. Coaching to her comes as a second nature, she spends days in-and day-out sending us videos to critic the performance of our team in which we call a family, sends motivational quotes and sayings. Swimming is a very mental sport and it's easy to become overwhelmed and even burned-out, but she always makes sure that she talks to us all the time to see if we are doing okay. During breaks in the sets she used to buy granola bars and healthy snacks to make sure we are eating enough because our workouts were quite intense, Jess would bend down and open up a bar and feed it to use cause she always claimed "I'll do it so your food doesn't get all wet and gross".
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| My senior night for swimming |
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| The very last swim meet together |
My sister was my biggest supporter in my eyes. When we were standing there on the pool deck and she was looking at the record bored, she turned my head to face it, and said "that is your name up there and you worked your butt off to get there, now make me proud even more" she exclaimed as she's putting my cap on and sending me down to the blocks encouraging me. As I get called up to step onto the blocks she looks at me and mouthed "all out" meaning I put my all into it and leave nothing behind. As the official says take your mark I already see her staring intensely at me, then the buzzer beeped and I went, the whole way down she followed me. Screaming, she kept my pace on a stop watch and did rapid motions if I needed to speed up or slow down to keep my momentum. She does her movement for me to speed up and I knew I was so close. Once I touched the wall I looked over at her and she's jumping and screaming in excitement for me. I looked at the time, and I beat my record. Once I got out of the pool she hugged me and didn't let go. She smiled and whispered "I will always be so proud of what you accomplish, like its my own accomplishment that I make myself". These words will forever be with me.
Without my sister, I would definitely not be the person I am today to say the very least. She is the reason I have great dedication, drive, happiness, love, and kindness in the world. Jess is the reason why I am continuing my education, and my love for swimming, because she is the one who helped me build it. You could even say she is my second mother; she thinks of me as her daughter and I love that about her the most.



Good job! I really enjoyed reading about the scene portrayed in your anecdote. One suggestion I'd have is when writing the dialogue, you can replace the times you wrote "she said" with something different like "she smiled" or "she exclaimed" just to make it a little bit more interesting and more descriptive than it already is.
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