The best mom you never asked for
The best mom you never asked for
My mom has always been my strongest supporter and has always been there, I have five siblings so there is six including me. Every morning she wakes up at 6:00 in the morning at our smaller ranch house in Montoursville PA, so she could get started working for the company her and my father own, which is a crane engineering company called CtK. She's such a smart loving brave and fearless women, everything I need she is always on top of it and makes sure that all of her children's needs are meant. "Time to wake up for school" My mom says when the clock hits 7:15 my siblings all groan, get up and slowly get ready for there day at school, once we are all ready for school she runs each and every one of us to school on time. Once all of her children are in school she has to rush back and take care of other business. She races to the grand old office building, with machines and dust everywhere and walks into the entrance as she scurry's into the smaller older office space, she enters her office where she sits cracks her knuckles takes a sip of her drink and starts to work on the important finances for the company. Once the day ends she comes home frantically and has to pick up all of the kids from school, rush to the grocery store and more. Her day is so busy everyday and she has to do so many things to keep everything going, without her my family could not function at all.
My mom comes home from the store and says "time for dinner" She runs frantically to put all of the food away with my siblings help and fires up the oven to start cooking. My siblings scream back violently with excitement "Yayyyyyyy food!!" My mom tries her best to calm down my siblings and continues to pace around the kitchen cleaning and cooking. She slides the oven mitts on and very steady she takes the pizza out of the oven. My siblings all swarm around the pizza and start to grab fiercely at it fighting and bickering. My mom calmly gets them there food and separates the arguments, she takes a sip of her drink and sits down and starts making phone calls. She sits down at the wooden old square table and calmly talks and schedules our appointments for doctors, dentist and more. She scurry's back to the grand office building and then has to run around frantically to other companies to pick and drop off checks. She finally gets back home and gets all of the children in bed, she finally flops down on her bed and relaxes and is ready to conquer the next day.
My mom has always been there for me and my whole entire family, from being sick to packing lunches she has always been there for everyone. She's the sweetest most caring person and has the best heart out there, it takes a lot to run a small business and it really shows the character that my parents have. Especially my mom, not only does she have to work at a business she owns with my father, she has to take care of her six kids and a dog too. She has so much on her plate and still manages to do it with a smile on her face. Without her I really do not know what my family would do, she is the glue and without her everything would fall apart.
My mom and I in 2004.
I like the story you are trying to portray. I do feel as though you are TELLING me the story rather than SHOWING or making me feel the story. To change this, try including actions, such as instead of saying "She drives to the large older building with machines and dust everywhere and walks into the entrance as she walks into the smaller older office space", maybe say "As my siblings and I begin our days at school, my mom's new mission becomes racing to the grand old office building. Once she has arrived at her destination, she will scurry into the office where she may sit down, crack her knuckles, and take a sip of coffee before she begins to tackle the important finance work for her company."
ReplyDeleteThanks for the helpful advice :)
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